A time of separation and divorce is always terrible and hard on everyone. If you have kids, then you have even more responsibilities.
How can you see yourself through these trying times and find the best self-actualized version of yourself that you always aspired to be?
How do you maintain a work-life balance?
1. Get a little me-time after work
Handling everything from working full-time to raising kids is going to take a toll on you. Everyone needs a little me time now and then. Remember there is nothing selfish about taking time out for yourself even if you’re a single mom.
You can only take care of your kids if you’re in sound health yourself. Indulge in your hobbies after work, stay in and watch a movie, snuggle down in bed and just unwind with a good book. Take a mini solo-trip if needed. You need to break away once in a while.
2. Don’t control everything
You can get obsessive when you micro plan and strive to fit everything in the day as a single mom. Even a little deviation can throw you off course and disrupt your carefully threaded schedule. Let your hair down and breathe.
Even if you’re not doing as well as yesterday you’ve still got everything in check. Just have faith in yourself and BREATHE! With children testing your patience you’ll realize the benefits of deep breathing even more. Set a routine for yourself. Going over the top with micro-planning is going to be stressful.
3. Connect with other single mom entrepreneurs
There are chances of other women in the same boat as you. Reach out to them and extend a hand of companionship. Exchange life stories and maybe even divide certain chores. You could take turns to look after the children and have some alone time to yourself. Discuss maintaining a work-life balance and have a social circle.
4. Evaluate your finances
A single parent has all the responsibility of raising children, running a home and managing expenses single-handedly. Perhaps finance is the only entity that you need to plan as a single parent. Budgeting on a monthly basis and setting aside some money for a rainy day is a really good idea if you have no support.
If you have only one child, they might get lonely without a sibling when you’re not around. Consider adopting another child for the sake of your kid. Mariam Abdel from PreszlerImmigrationLawyers.com says that under the Family Law Act, a formal adoption is not necessarily required to define a person as a parent or child.
5. Seek help from friends and family
Managing everything single-handedly sounds glorious but it may not be practical to do everything on your own. If you have young kids, you need to be at several places at once which is just not possible, let’s face it.
Request your family and friends for help to manage your children when you’re away at work. Things, like ferrying your children and buying groceries, can be done by other people while you take some time to get your house in order and tend to your own needs. Doing everything yourself will burn you out.
After you’ve set a routine and healed from the separation, open yourself up to social commitments after your work is over for the day. Studies have shown that maintaining a work-life balance by giving social commitments equal importance boosts productivity at work too!
6. Combat loneliness with a support system
Always having someone around to lean on and help with the kids is very comforting. What do you do when you don’t have this anymore? The first thing to remember is that you’re not alone. You always have a support system.
Even though you may be working full time and independently raising children, you could still require support. There are other working single moms whom you could look to for help. When things get hard, don’t hesitate to reach out to similar people for help.
A healthy work-life balance is fulfilling. Being single isn’t bad when you’ve crossed the initial phase of the separation which brings with it loneliness and foreboding.
7. Throw yourself out there
Get back in the dating scene! Sounds preposterous but everyone needs companionship. When you feel that you’ve got things under control and have a little time to enjoy yourself too, take out time for yourself and meet new people. You’ve been through a harrowing experience and need a bit of respite too.
Throwing a word of caution; since you’re a mom unless you’re completely sure about the guy you’re dating don’t introduce him to your kids. You don’t want to subject your kids to more separation and heartbreak.
8. Make sure to prioritize communication
A single mom has a lot on her head, and maybe as a single mom, you don’t have as much time as you used to have earlier. It is most important that you take some time out and communicate with your friends and family about everything going on in your life.
Your routine can isolate you from your loved ones and leave you feeling lost. Vent out your frustration once in a while to avoid feeling overwhelmed. If you spend all your time with your children, you need to spend some quality time with adults too.
9. Spend quality time with the children
Your children are everything to you, and that’s the reason you choose to multitask and work hard. In the race to manage everything, sometimes your children may feel neglected. Those unmade beds can wait. The dirty dishes can be done later.
You need to spend some quality time with your children too, conversing about their days and the things they’re learning. As a mother, teaching your kids about life will come at these moments when you talk heart to heart with them.
You are doing everything in your power to mitigate your losses and discovering that singlehood is liberating after all. Eventually, you’ll learn to live by yourself and enjoy independence. The important thing to remember is that you’re getting there.